Remembrance and Meditation

It’s just a date…

Glancing at the calendar earlier this week I took note of the fact that Friday is September 11th. At the realization I quite literally noted a physical change in my body at just the acknowledgement of the date. I felt my breath rush from my lungs in a familiar way, like a moment of frustration, exasperation and even a tinge of sadness. To my surprise at the recognition of this physical response I was forced to inwardly consider, “why did I react so autonomously over a date on the calendar?” After reflecting upon this I was forced to recognize the fact that I have been conditioned to do so as an American each year, for the last nineteen years… my entire adult life. As Americans we simply refer to it as 9/11 and there seems to be a series of unspoken understanding among its’ residents that witnessed the events that unfolded September 11th, 2001. We all remember where we were, who we were with and the spectrum of emotions felt that day. For myself I was 18, and just wrapped up a blissful summer having just graduated from high school…the world was waiting for me to enter.

Change was inevitable…

What was to follow was a shift in our consciousness shaping our nation to express heightened patriotism such as flying the American flag, a greater focus on family and home life as well as reconnecting through spiritualism. The violent acts of that day also increased our collective fear of future attacks, conspiracy theories and paranoia. Talk about ripping off the veil as I entered adulthood. Perhaps the now freshman at college have a whole new challenge not so different from my own as they navigate their steps to adulthood during a global pandemic. This year however marks the first-year incoming freshman were not born to live the experience of 9/11/01 and all that followed. They lack the memories of life before those acts of terror and loss.

Meditate

Today I choose to sit at my loom, to take an hour to weave and allow my consciousness to reflect back on that day. My pattern will be simple. I will force all other thoughts and concerns from my mind… at least for that one designated hour. The loom will be my tool to create a rhythm, this auditory and physical movement allows my mind to narrow in on my singular thought. This time is a gift to myself where I can reflect on my own growth, how I perceive my community and country now and how my puzzle piece fits into this giant puzzle of life.

With the mantra echoing repeatedly;

Swish. Thump. Bump. Swish. Thump. Bump.
Swish. Thump. Bump. Swish. Thump. Bump.
Swish. Thump. Bump. Swish. Thump. Bump.
Swish. Thump. Bump. Swish. Thump. Bump.
Swish. Thump. Bump. Swish. Thump. Bump.

The hour passes and I am left clear of mind. That knot in my stomach, the worry, the physical response felt has now left me. I am reminded that I am safe. My needs and those of my family are more than met, and most importantly I am happy. I think the time spent reflecting has much value to honor the innocent lives lost. What we gained as a nation however united us through this tragedy and elevated us in many ways within our families and communities. I encourage you to take time to listen to your own thoughts; this may be on a park bench, a quiet corner or like myself at the loom. This time is for you and you alone.

~Sara